A Hurt Son

The exchange between a grown man and his mother right now really hits home for so many children! I'm here in my apartment and I'm hearing a very loud, profanity-laced, one-sided conversation between an obviously hurt son and his mother on the other end of the phone.

Insert the f-bomb and a few sh-bombs between every two or three words and you'll have the gist of this man's side of the conversation. The statements are real. He was yelling loud enough for me to clearly hear sitting in my 4th floor apartment.

"You screwed up my life since I was a child!!!!"

"Honestly mom, when you go, I won't shed a tear!!"

"You weren't even there for me!!!"

"I'm my father's son! I had NOTHING to do with what he did to you!"

"You had all those men around us!"

"{so-n-so} TOUCHED ME! When I was seven mom!"

"I DID tell you! We went to court!!!!"

"If denying it makes you sleep better at night, then go 'head mom and deny it!"

My first thought was this man is probably just finally releasing years of pent-up hurt and frustration. That is totally understandable given what I heard.

In between those first thoughts, I began to shake my head. Children don't ask to come into this world and they certainly don't choose their parents. Being a public school teacher, I see this and other situations every single day of the week. Being a person who cares, it's hard to avoid taking these issues home with me every night.

Then mixed up with hurt for this guy and (unfair though it may be because I only heard one side of the convo) anger at the mother, I went straight to those who pin everything on teachers and schools, particularly, public school teachers serving in public schools. I think of those who don't want to fund counseling and other types of services for children to help them through challenges like these. I think of those who would ignore home life or community life as a help or hindrance to a child's academic and overall success.

I don't expect these deformers to get it. They don't teach. They are not public school teachers. If they did teach, it was community service for a couple of years, if that! They are not the boots on the ground in real public school classrooms.  They don't live in the communities and neighborhoods where our students come from. They don't have students cuss them out one day and then write a page long letter that includes words like, "Mr. Flemming, you're the last one I got left to look up to! I'm sorry!" They don't have students say, "Mr. Flemming, can you be my dad" or "Yoo, you really came to my house!" So, no I don't expect them to understand. I don't expect them to get it.

They're successful, and that's fine and dandy. I'm not jealous of their success and wish them well. What I DO want is for them to leave the teaching and learning to us! This is what we do! I want my children to have a shot at being successful as well. That comes through good teaching (not testing of the high stakes variety) and good learning (not bubbling in). Part and parcel of teaching and learning is having the human and financial resources in place to be able to do what needs to be done including getting and maintaining the services students need, especially those who are coming from poverty-stricken communities. It's their reality right now, fair or not, like it or not. There is a way out though!

The man that I heard just now, I hope he finds the inner-healing and strength he needs. That conversation may have been it. He represents so many students who are currently sitting in our classrooms. Let's not forget that! The reformers are going to constantly raise Cain and capital to do what they do. Reform agendas, like administrators, Presidents, Congresses, etc. have come and gone. We're still here! And I don't know about you, but I've got some more fight in me!

So onward teacher-soldiers! Let's be there for our kids, no matter what devilish schemes these reformers concoct!!