Fathers.Edu

Many times as teachers and school personnel, we assume (to no fault of our own) that many fathers are not active in the lives of the students we teach. Our frame of reference often is either our up-bringing, tradition, or what we actually seen and experienced over the years.

Unfortunately, in many cases this is true. Many men were simply there for that initial emotional experience that may have only lasted a few minutes and that was the extent of their involvement.

I, however, want to acknowledge the fathers and father-figures who are active in the lives of their children; men who are actively involved in their child's education and overall growth! Not every male, particularly those of African-American descent, is a high, dead-beat, strung out, pants-saggin', dirty draws showin, hustlin' drunk! There are still some good men out there who know how to respect and treat a lady and take care of their responsibilities at home and school.

Being on SEPTA a lot lately, I've seen in recent months, more and more young fathers pushing strollers, holding the hands of their children, and doing what appears to be right by their children!

As teachers we must be careful in our approach. In a field dominated by women, many fathers tend to feel "educationally intimidated", my terminology for not wanting to appear "stupid" in front of his child's teacher AND not wanting that teacher to think he lacks an education. It's the mother who tends to be the caretaker, the nurturer, the "one" who does the whole "school thing".  Never assume, though, that the father is not involved and has no interest. Make it a point to get to know your students and their situation. Sometimes that student's "attitude" is the result of an absent mother and a father who works endless hours. The "lethargy" is the sum of that student caring for his/her siblings, while mom is out partying and dad is trying his best!

I have a unique perspective because I am a man and because I am African-American and because I am from and still reside in the inner city! My frame of reference is entrenched in a daily view both in and out of school of urban life. From this vantage point, I see many fathers who want to be even more involved but have gotten such a bad rap from the media and society that they feel the need to either give in to what's being portrayed or work all the more harder to prove they're different!

Happy Father's Day to all of the good fathers out there!