Fathers.Edu

Many times as teachers and school personnel, we assume (to no fault of our own) that many fathers are not active in the lives of the students we teach. Our frame of reference often is either our up-bringing, tradition, or what we actually seen and experienced over the years.

Unfortunately, in many cases this is true. Many men were simply there for that initial emotional experience that may have only lasted a few minutes and that was the extent of their involvement.

I, however, want to acknowledge the fathers and father-figures who are active in the lives of their children; men who are actively involved in their child's education and overall growth! Not every male, particularly those of African-American descent, is a high, dead-beat, strung out, pants-saggin', dirty draws showin, hustlin' drunk! There are still some good men out there who know how to respect and treat a lady and take care of their responsibilities at home and school.

Being on SEPTA a lot lately, I've seen in recent months, more and more young fathers pushing strollers, holding the hands of their children, and doing what appears to be right by their children!

As teachers we must be careful in our approach. In a field dominated by women, many fathers tend to feel "educationally intimidated", my terminology for not wanting to appear "stupid" in front of his child's teacher AND not wanting that teacher to think he lacks an education. It's the mother who tends to be the caretaker, the nurturer, the "one" who does the whole "school thing".  Never assume, though, that the father is not involved and has no interest. Make it a point to get to know your students and their situation. Sometimes that student's "attitude" is the result of an absent mother and a father who works endless hours. The "lethargy" is the sum of that student caring for his/her siblings, while mom is out partying and dad is trying his best!

I have a unique perspective because I am a man and because I am African-American and because I am from and still reside in the inner city! My frame of reference is entrenched in a daily view both in and out of school of urban life. From this vantage point, I see many fathers who want to be even more involved but have gotten such a bad rap from the media and society that they feel the need to either give in to what's being portrayed or work all the more harder to prove they're different!

Happy Father's Day to all of the good fathers out there!

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Growing up watching sports with my father, there was one lesson he taught my brothers and me and that was to never get too happy before the triple zeros. The home team, be it the Philadelphia Eagles, the 76ers, the Phillies, or Flyers could be blowing out the opponent, but never get too excited before the clock runs out. The logic? Anything could happen. This was and is especially true of our beloved Eagles! But I digress.

As this school year began, I was well aware that as an entire class, this group of students struggled academically. But my passion and drive to see them succeed drove me to work extra hard to give them the best education that I could give them. Looking at PSSA scores and percentages, one would think that I sat on my fannie all year long and did absolutely nothing! However, I am increasingly coming to realize that students are more than just statics and numbers. Progress in the lives of youth cannot be measured with a calculator and cannot be crunched into excel spreadsheets.

I think of several students with whom I had the privilege of working and being their homeroom teacher. Some of whom raised Cain every year they've been in school. I think of many comments that were made that I had quite the "doozie" of a homeroom. Then I think of how many of the rough edges of these children were made smooth. I consider the fact that the words "Good Morning" are a part of their everyday vocabulary. I ponder the fact that "have a good afternoon Mr. Flemming" is second nature to once hardened "thugs" and "criminals". I reflect on the fact that many of the young men in my class now have a deeper respect and fondness for and treat our young ladies as gentleman should.

I consider the comment of one who said and I quote, "Mr. Flemming, I only got suspended four times this year." This is a dramatic reduction from eleven last year. I think of the comment made by one student who returned from the bathroom and informed me and I quote again, "Mr. Flemming, there is fecal matter and urine all over the floor."

When I with mixed emotions think of one student who said, "Mr. Flemming you're the last one I have left to look up to," I reiterate my claim that progress cannot be measured just in numbers and percentages. So while test scores look bleak and abysmal, each and everyone of my dear students has a new found confidence that will carry them through the next several years of their lives!

It is important to note that many of the students have made significant individual gains! There is still much work to be done! I have a week of teaching left before I bid my children adieu! We're going strong. I teach until the last day of school! So batten down the hatches, we are in for one more week of "Flem Flem awww krazy"!

Success is my only option! Point blank!