That's how you know it's real; a note on student-teacher relationships

This week was long. Full stop. Educators have those types of weeks every now and then. Every day, however, brings new possibilities for that day. I clicked out of my Communications class last Thursday on such an intellectual and cultural high, but I'll have to detail that later. I do believe, however, that I--their teacher--was able to leave class like that in part because of the relationships I've built and continue to build with them. Hence, the topic for this post. Critical to students' success in the classroom are student:teacher relationships.

Kennedy-Lewis and Murphy (2016) in their research on "frequent flyers" write, 

"The students in this study repeatedly mentioned wanting educators to listen to them and to believe them—and complying and working for teachers who did show care—confirming findings in existing literature showing that students deem as “good” teachers those who care about them personally, hold them to high expectations, and show them respect (Alder, 2002; Corbett & Wilson, 1998; Cothran & Ennis, 2000; Wilson & Corbett, 1999)."

Additionally, "Student-teacher relationships characterized by these attributes correlate with students’ improved academic engagement (Goodenow, 1993; Noblit, Rogers, & McCadden, 1995; Wang, Haertel, & Walberg, 2003) and socialemotional development (Baker, 1999; Crosnoe et al., 2004)."

This week, I have received or seen texts and tweets that had me like...

These texts and tweets came from colleagues across the district who offered evidence of their burgeoning student:teacher relationships. They solidify that relationships, do indeed, matter! I must insert that the texts and tweets I reference here come from Black teachers who work with majority Black students. That matters!

Relationships matter! Relationships matter! Relationships matter!

When students say things or demonstrate that they value their rapport with you, sometimes the words escape you! One of our colleagues expressed this sentiment:

Another colleague texted in part:

"My students sometimes tell me they love me...it's so genuine and spontaneous and that's when I know they like me"

One colleague sent a summary of a conversation she had with one of her students. That student finally understood that annotating was simply one tool to help a reader engage with text, likely increasing their level of comprehension; that annotating isn't some extra thing to do. I'd guess that most conscientious teachers have seen the look or that moment when you see something click and a student "gets it." Those repetitious thuds you hear and feel are you patting yourself on the back! Help yourself!*

There are ways to tell if what you're experiencing in the classroom is real. Unsolicited and uncoerced expressions of love and gratitude are signs that it's real. When a teacher features current and former students on their class social media platforms for "Post Me Saturdays" and the students dm pics every week, that's how you know it's real! Random, "Ard, teach, luh u! Holla!" Yup, that's also a sign it's real! Text chats with teachers over culturally-relevant TV series is a sign that it's real. "This the only class I come to frfr (for real for real)" is another sign it's real. (Take that opportunity to drop some auntie/unk advice). Random emails from students you haven't seen in years is a sign that it's real. Students not running in the opposite direction when they see you in the hood is a sign it's real. Students ready to fight for you when walkthrough teams pull up is another sign. *shrugs*

If I didn't make it abundantly clear, relationships matter! They especially matter now when physical distancing has sometimes meant social distancing. When the chords that have held us tight are thinning. When our manz are being gunned down in the streets and we can't even say goodbye right. When that self-serving, racist, bigoted clown who holds the highest office in the land would have us believe Black lives don't matter. When we're not supposed to do what the gifs below demonstrate. Relationships matter!

If you want to build those relationships, start by not focusing on the academics and ask them a random question like, "Should parents have their children's social media passwords?" then "Would you want to have your children's social media passwords?" Watch.

*the title is a little misleading, but read that jawn I wrote back in 2012