The Unseen Real: Nobody Else

Several years ago, Earl Brown (pseudonym) was a young man in my class. He started cussin' and swearin' before storming out of the classroom. Realizing that Earl had never done this before, I did not get upset. I did not write him up for the infraction, nor was Earl suspended or otherwise disciplined. The next morning before class, Earl made his way to our classroom and read to me a letter of apology that he wrote the previous night. He said that it was easier for him to do it this way. (And if memory serves me correctly, he apologized to the class later.) But in the letter that he read to me he detailed the enigma that was his life experience.

I sat in melancholic astonishment as he listed event after event, situation after situation that occurred in his life. I was also astonished at his level of trust in me to hear him out. He ended his letter with, “Mr. Flemming, you the last one I got left to look up to.” That messed me up! Badly! I kept it together until he left for the school yard, but I had real bad "allergies" that morning before class (3 minutes until I had to pick them up) and on the bus ride home that afternoon. The events of the previous day, his explosion, was a tipping point!

Now, Earl’s blow up and storming out could have easily been noted on a pink slip with some form of school discipline to follow. That would have been the logical next step for any school personnel who would have been in that situation. I get it. My exhortation to my colleagues around the nation, but especially those of us who have the privilege of teaching in urban areas and with boys who share my hue, my advice is to push the 'pause' button. Take a step back and listen to what he may not be telling you. The thing is, he may NEVER tell you. And that's ok. Just know that Tylenol isn't a panacea. Pink slips and suspensions aren't always the answer. Each situation is different and may require a different approach. So before you pick up that pen and pink slip, push pause.